Sunday, November 19, 2006

Xenu Pronounces You Man & War Bride


this was the best bridal portrait you could do? Forcing mind-controlled Katie to slump and slouch to appear as elfin and tiny as Tom? If I was Giorgio Armani, I'd scalp the little jerk for ruining the lines of his dress. As usual he looks like he's holding her against her will. Nice vice grip, jackass. (White kuckles, no?)

Here's Katie earlier in the day looking like the prisoner she seems to have become.

And while we're on the subject of prisoners of love - WTF is Marc Anthony doing to J.Lo? That is just wrong. Posh Spice knew how to rock a dress for the event. So did Brooke Shields and Jada Smith. So why is J.Lo all covered up in pink chiffon (and I hope to God fake) fur? Who took her neck? If he wants to look like the Crypt Keeper that's fine - but stop messing with Jenny from the Block - that girl knew how to rock an event gown. She looks worse than the mother-in-law of the bride in that mess. Someone save her, please. Maybe the mothers can have their girls kidnapped and deprogrammed at a group rate.

All photos are copyright to the AP - don't sue!

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