Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Sometimes I Love the Mailman

Today I love the mailman. The September Vanity Fair style issue landed with a giant ker-thunk on my porch and the mag is making me swoon with anticipation. The issue is nearly an inch thick with fashion ads both divine and insane, the 2007 best dressed list, a bizarre L.A.M.B. fragrance ad featuring a highly Photoshopped Gwen Stefani, and the tasty top on the fashion cake - the article about the current Mrs. Giuliani (with a photo callout screaming "Queen is her goal!") I have only located two photos of the future Mr. Lori Magno (George Clooney) but I am only skimming.

The annual "Fashion Rocks" supplement was included in the package and features Jennifer Lopez (mercifully pictured with out husband-corpse Marc Anthony) but wearing the most frightening accessory of the season - a chastity belt, and an ill-fitting one to boot. I'm not going to mention the strange Photoshop work (check out her left forearm compared to her right forearm) but I will call out the portion of her ribcage that does not quite fit into the S&M belt. A note to JLo, Magno loves the fashion accessories, and over the years I have suffered mightily for fashion - but you, of the diva booty, should not, never ever, feel pressure to appear in a cinch waist ANYTHING for the sake of a cover. It looks weird - I feel like your face is supposed to be presenting a "come hither" - but I'm guessing you are just ready to pass out from lack of oxygen.

Also in the postman's gift bag was the new J. Peterman catalog (which I cherish for the writing and the occasional fabulous dress) but this issue brought a couple of pages more suited to our friends at You May Also Like...

Yes, a caftan. A really, really scary one. There are no words - not even John O'Hurley as J. Peterman words that could convince me to wear something this reminiscent of a couch on my aunt's porch circa 1975, though I will give the catalog a giant chuckle of love for this line; "Size: one universal size fits most." I can't even go to the coat - but you can.


James-H said...

Thanks for the heads up. I'm off at lunch to obtain a copy myself.

George said...

(Humor) Speaking of sytlish clothes, have you seen the newest Barbie Doll: Hooker Barbie. Stylish if one likes the fishnet stockings and excess makeup look.