FINAL SCORE, Boston Red Sox 10, Colorado Rockies 5
(Fox idiots, 00000)
Ninth Inning (10-5 Boston)
Top half: Hawkins pitching. Lowell singles to center. Alex Cora bunts Lowell to second. Mike Lowell steals third (sliding head first) while Jason Varitek is at bat. Jason flies out to center. Mike Lowell scores. Lugo grounds to short. Papelbon will march to the hill.
Papelbon looking FIERCE. Matt Holiday flies out to Jacoby Ellsbury. I'll send Fox a check for $9 if they will silence the idiots in the booth. Atkins breaks his bat and the ball rolls to Lowell who throws him out at first. Hawpe slams one along the right field line and makes it to third. Papelbon is not pleased. Torrealba grounds out the short. Game over. Fox idiots say it is the longest game in World Series history (four hours, nineteen minutes.)
Eighth Inning (9-5 Boston)
Top half: Fuentes pitching for the Rockies. Varitek thrown out at first by Tulowitzki. Lugo walks. Coco Crisp shoots one over the head of Tulowitzki. Nice. Ellsbury slams one into right field, stays fair takes second. Pedroia slams one into right and he's on second. Crisp & Ellsbury home. 9-5 Sox. Youkilis grounds to Atkins. Manny strolls to his fifth appearance at the plate. Fuentes almost hits him in the knees. Manny pops up to Holliday.
Bottom half: Manny Delcarmen now pitching. Spilborghs foul fly out to right. Taveras hitting for Fuentes. Taveras lines to Pedroia. Everyone looks mighty cold now. Matsui hits one up the middle for one base. Tulowitzki at bat. Papelbon warming up. Tulowitzki walks. Papelbon is called to the mound. Pedroia taken out for Alex Cora. Holliday will bat next. Holliday flies out to Manny.
All those in favor of the sweater vest raise your hand.
Seventh Inning (6-5 Boston)
Top half: Pithcing for the Rockies is Herges. Mean breaking ball. Manny Ramirez strikes out. Mike Lowell strikes out on the change up. Herges gets JD Drew to strike out. Best inning for the Rockies.
Seventh inning stretch. Denver native (who knew?) Philip Bailey singing God Bless America.
Bottom half: Matsui bunts, makes it to first. Matsui steals second. Laser throw from Varitek. Tulowitzki grounds up the middle - Matsui to third. Francona calls Hideki Okajima to the mound. Coco Crisp replaces JD Drew. Shit. Holliday home run - it's a 1 run game. No outs. Helton line drive, no one out. Tying run on. Fox idiots guess that altitude is troubling Okajima. Atkins strikes out. Long inning. Hawpe strikes out. Torrealba hits to Okajima who throws him out at first.
Sixth Inning (6-2 Boston)
Top half: Ellsbury is really cute. Nice hit, but out (barely) at first. Movement in Rockies bullpen. Pedroia (also cute) shattered bat fly out to center. Press photographers look more comfortable at Coors Stadium than at Fenway. Appear to have actual seats as opposed to crouching in the dirt at Fenway. Ortiz strikes out. Weather.com says it is now 39° in Denver. Brrr.
Bottom half: Kevin Youkilis is in at first. Matt Holliday grounds to Mike Lowell at third, nice throw out at first. Helton muttering under his breath and a backstare at the ump on first strike call. Fox idiots put up boring stats about Rockies players recruited for football in college. Yawn. Helton walks. Atkins walks. Francona to the mound. Javier Lopez will come in to face Hawpe. Hawpe drops one into center and Helton scores. The crowd goes wild. Torrealba slams a grounder into left, Atkins runs home. Mike Timlin is called to the mound. Spilborghs flies out to center, Ellsbury catches it at the 415' mark. Jeff Baker now pinch-hitting. Sweater vest unsightly on Baker. Line drive caught by the jumping Lugo - snow cone, NICE!!!
Fifth Inning (still 6-0 Boston)
Top half: Joe Buck announces JD Drew has a lead off double in the sixth inning. Drunk, or idiot - you decide... Drew hit a long ball that bounced off the wall in center field. That's a LONG way. All of the Sox have a hit now. Varitek strikes out after a bunch of fouls. Lugo up, flies out to right. Matsuzaka grounds to second baseman.
Bottom half: Torrealba lead-off hit up the middle for a single. Sullivan flies out to Ramirez, Torrealba beats the throw back to first. Smith makes it to first on a broken bat bloop to right. Matsui hits to Lugo, who tosses to Lowell to put Torrealba out. Tulowitzki pops up to Lugo.
Fourth Inning (still 6-0 Boston)
Top half: Ortiz grounds out. Ramirez, long fly out to center. Mike Lowell lines to the pitcher.
Bottom half: Holliday grounds out to Ortiz at first. Kevin Youkilis cheers from the bench - classy guy ("kid" as Francona called him in an interview.) White dude dressed as pimp in stands (purple velvet, natch.) Maybe the Rockies are holding a costume contest? Native weirdness? Trying to prove the sweater vests aren't the worst fashion decisions in Denver? Helton finally strikes out after a pile of fouls. A walk for Atkins. Hawpe pops out to left center.
Third Inning (6-0 Boston)
Top half: The Fox idiots are going to drive me mad all night. Must remain calm. Jacoby Ellsbury!!! line drive, safe at second! Nice move from the man that gave America free tacos at Taco Bell on October 30th for stealing a base. Dustin Pedroia looking to bunt. NICE! shortest bunt ever, he's safe at first, Ellsbury moved to third, no one out! Big Papi David Ortiz, line drive to the corner. Ellsbury scores!!!! Ortiz to second. Red Sox are first on the board!!! McCarver "What a lethal hitter." (duh) Pitching around Manny to load the bases with no outs. Mike Lowell line drive up the middle, Pedroia and Ortiz score. 3-0 Boston. JD Drew up. Franklin Morales warming up for the Rockies. Awesome - he's the one who walked in four runs on Wednesday night. Drew pops up. Captain Jason Varitek, base hit left field. Manny looks safe at home, umpire calls him out. Francona fighting. Even the Fox idiots got the call right. Hometown umps. Buck uses the phrase "Manny's do-rag." Ick. Fox idiots change their minds and call Manny out. Lugo walks. Matsuzaka base hit! Two runs in!!! Yay Dice-K!!! He gets my MVP of the game for that! Jacoby Ellsbury up AGAIN. Rockies waving towels. They have bottle beer in the stands. How weird. Almost hit Ellsbury. Ellsbury bloops into center. Lugo scores. 6-0 now!!!!! Pitcher Josh Fogg is chased from the mound. Morales coming in to pitch to Pedroia, who lines out to third base.
Bottom half: Morales strikes out. The sweater vest does not look terrible on Matsui, but it didn't help him not strike out. Man dressed as penguin holding beer, and lots of purple face paint in stands. Chalk it up to thin air. Tulowitzki grounds out.
Top half: McCarver and Buck have already pissed me off with their tone and idiotic commentary. Dear God, let this series go in four so I don't have to listen to the Fox monkeys. Varitek mighty close at first, but out on the replay. Julio Lugo! Two out double! Matsuzaka, not born to hit, but doesn't chase bad balls. Strike out with a foul tip.
Bottom half: Ouch. Dice-K hits Atkins who takes first base. Hawpe strikes out. Torrealba, sweater vest looks particularly bad on his physique, flies out to Ramirez. Fox idiots: blah blah blah humidor (same stuff we've heard all week.) Shut up! Sullivan grounds to short, inning over.
Why are the Colorado Rockies fans dressed so weird? It's like 43 degrees and there's a guy dressed like the Jolly Green Giant, a man with a purple beard and someone in a Storm Trooper mask with a Rockies logo on it. Boston Red Sox got two on, no runs.
Bottom half: Matsuzaka looking good. David Ortiz looms large at first. Matsui gets a hit and and error to land on second, but since he and the team are wearing the sweater vest look, I think he should lose one turn. Tulowitzki is out swinging. Sweater vest? Matt Holliday hits to Matsuzaka who nails Matsui in a run down at second base. Good baseball there. Todd Helton grounds out.