Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Dear Pundits & Pollsters

Memorandum

To: Pundits & Pollsters
Fr: Mrs. Magno
RE: New Hampshire Primary
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Please be advised that you guessed wrong. That does not require extensive news coverage to explain away the egg on your collective faces. Your positing race, age and sex factors is very interesting, but most likely way off base. I wish my account planners & customer research staff had free time to look into this - I trust their data. I offer for your amusement my own theories:

1. People enjoy lying to telephone pollsters. You call to annoy me at dinner and you think I'm going to tell you the truth? Not likely - I'll tell you I'm writing in Badcat.

2. People don't want to deal with exit polling youths when they waited in line to vote and now must rush off to work, home, soccer practice, ballet recital, spinning class or whatever else people have going in their lives. Why should I spend one second telling you who I voted for just so you can put some numbers in some mouthpiece on television? And how do you know your exit pollsters were getting an appropriate sample from which to make a judgment? Take your time answering this one, I am totally willing to wait.

3. Women felt bad that Hillary was getting picked on after her (as it was variously called in media reports) "meltdown," "emotional moment," or "tearful moment." Hello, it wasn't just women that felt bad that the media made hay with "the moment" by replaying it (in seriously edited mode) over and over. The people I have spoken to all understand that every candidate was completely exhausted by Monday. It's why candidates were at times snippy, cranky and shouty.

4. People enjoy lying to pundits. You are kind of jerkfacey know-it-alls and people don't like that. You seem to be owning up to the fact that people want to see this election process continue by not anointing "the" candidate at this point in time. They want to learn more from many, if not most, of the candidates - so y'all need to shut up and report.

5. Secretly you are all guessing. Everyone knows it, so just stop it now. The electorate would truly appreciate real, in-depth reporting on the issues and the candidates position on the issues. Could you work some of that in between pontification panels? Is that too much to ask?

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