Sunday, March 02, 2008

The Pain and Attempts to Overcome It

Our beloved orange cat T-Bone the Kitty (sitting with Badcat last Sunday) passed into the next kitty life late on Tuesday night. The grief has been nearly unbearable, in large part because I didn't know how much of my life he occupied. I expected to miss him at dinner time, I expected to find the house oddly quiet. I have been surprised and overwhelmed by the waves of tears. When I close the laptop at the end of the evening and then shut off the television, I will expect him to hop up off his fleece bed and ask for attention and crunchies. But he's not there.

Tom and I have spent a lot of extra time together this week. T-Bone was really "his boy" like Badcat is "my girl" - but since Tom's office is at home, T-Bone spent a lot of time following him around like alpha cat. That is a very big psychic space to fill. I can't come close to filling that void, but I tried really hard. Oh T-Bone my T-Bone, we miss you so much.

Today Tom took me for a "ride in the car" as we would say back in the day. We went up to Essex for lunch at Woodman's of Essex where we split the fisherman's platter. There is something healing in hot, salty, fatty foods - and the fried shrimp, scallops, clams and haddock, with unbelievable onion rings and french fries was a big step forward. Healthy? No. Healing? Yes.

That was a lot of healing in one sitting.

Thank you to everyone who sent comments and emails. The animal loving community is large and full of heart. You are awesome people.

Moda di Magno will return to its regular snarky programming tomorrow.


bex said...

I wanted to leave a comment on your last post, but couldn't see the computer screen after reading through your entry. Your T-Bone looked just like my Disco, and well...I can't imagine.

Your posts have made me yell at them a bit less for acting crazy, and made me take the time to nuzzle and cuddle them a bit more.

I am so sorry to hear about T-Bone.

Moda di Magno said...

Bex, please give Disco an extra chin scratch from me and Badcat.


ML said...

So sorry to hear about your loss.
It is so difficult to lose someone who has shared your life...

megan said...

so sorry about your baby. i know how much you loved him!