Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Memorandum to: The Cat

To: Lazy, expensive cat

From: The people who pay the rent

RE: Lady-feeder's recent outburst
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Cat, it has come to my attention that you have been keeping company in the basement. This is unusual given that you are an only child at this time. We desperately miss our beloved T-Bone, your partner in crime (and head cheerleader) for 12 years, but you may not have animals of any kind in the house.

Case in point: are you hiding a mouse in the basement? Seriously? Seriously. Something has been visiting the area where your litter box is and leaving evidence that they can't reach the litter box. And mama doesn't likey. Not one bit.

Cat, you are well fed (prescription Royal Canin lamb & green pea) and well cared for (thank you Winchester Vet Group) you are required to do no heavy lifting, no vacuuming, no laundry - no nothing. You are demanding and bossy and take over as much of the bed as you please. Given all that your people do for you - do you think you could ask your friend to go home now?  Is that too much to ask? It's not like we're asking you to produce income.

I really do not want to play catch and release with Man-feeder until we 'get the guest.' I also don't want to harm any creatures, so traps and poison are out of the question, but your guest must vacate the premises immediately. Do I make myself clear young lady?

Get off your duff and explain the house rules (i.e. no pets are to be kept by pets at any time) to your friend before I embarrass you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

2 comments:

Nicola said...

Rofl you are soooooo funny
Nic x

HappyDayArt! said...

Ha, ha!

I love pictures of you!