Wednesday, December 16, 2009

On Being Forced to STOP

Wowza - today is Wednesday, December 16th. How did that happen?

I've been crazy crazy crazy CRAZY busy.  Thank you Internets! Thank you lovely local shoppers!

Four shows in three weeks - a bazillion custom orders (my pleasure!) and end of year has made for the most breakneck conclusion to a year ever.

The exciting news - I was accepted into the Buyers Market of American Craft show in February. That's about the coolest thing ever.  EVER!  That is "the" wholesale show of the year - major. MAJOR. OMG - major. Christine Street of Chocolate and Steel and I have joined forces to attend and rock that show. More on that topic soon.

I have more to say on a lot of topics, but I must say that last night - when I had several orders yet to fill, Tom wanted to take me out to hear live music. He knew that I wanted to hear this particular band, but I don't think he understood the amount of work I had on my bench. But I know I have been 95% focused on filling Moda di Magno orders and not on happy family life. (That's bad, I know.)

So I went to the Lizard Lounge with Tom to see the band Session Americana, a local group of roots & blues players. I was pissed. I was mad. I was aggravated - I had orders to fill. The band was not going on until 9:30pm! WTF - I haven't been to bed before 1am in weeks. I'm a zombie (and not the cutie pie modern zombie girl kind of zombie. I mean the whiny I-hate-my-life kind of zombie. The I-haven't-tweezed-my-eyebrows-in-a-week kind of zombie. The I'm grateful for clean underwear kind of zombie. In other words ick. I'm tired. Seriously sleep deprived kind of zombie. Seriously)

We don't get into the club. The show is sold out - we miss by three patrons. But Tom is determined to see this show. I am annoyed. I have orders to fill. We hang out at the Forest Cafe (where Brian the bartender makes the best margaritas.) And we wait. And wait. I'm not feeling good about our chances. Lizard Lounge occupancy: 105 - hottest band in the UNIVERSE fan base - one gazillion. Dammit.

9:30pm. 10:00pm.  10:30pm (seriously - I'm out on school night WAITING to get into a club to hear a band? WTF??!!!)  11pm we go across Mass Ave to check and see if we can get in - and sure enough, we do. Great. I'm pissed. I HAVE ORDERS TO FILL. DAMMIT.

Then the band starts to play.

ZOMG.

I'm going to say it here - Session Americana is the greatest band in the universe. Piss off Phish lovers. Sorry Deadheads. WTF the rest of you EMO blah band lovers. THIS BAND is the greatest band ever. Period. Don't bother trying to debate with me. YOU WILL LOSE. The best music I have ever heard. Ever.

I'm not sure I can explain what a f*cked up place I was in when we walked into the club. I DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE. Not even a little (even though I wanted to hear the band - at some point.) I HAD ORDERS TO FILL. DAMMIT.

Then they started to play and wow. Just wow. Wow, wow, wow. Roots, blues, country, american, folk, barn music. Songs you know. Songs you think you know. Songs you want to sing along with (and they encourage that kind of behavior.) Music filled with life and love and joy and soul and every kind of thing I needed at that very moment. I HAD ORDERS TO FILL. DAMMIT. I did not want to be there - but the music was transcendant. It took me away. I know Tommy was there with me. And our friend Scot and our friend Rene but I was just there in the music and experiencing the music and the joy. And I was the music and they were the music and there was nothing but joy. What orders?

The band played a set of beautiful music - some original, some written by others. It didn't matter - the band made it theirs. Even better, over the last hour of the show they invited a slew of musicians to sit in for a song or two. Wowza - young people swinging with the most soulful band ever. Awesome awesomeness. And fun and funny and wow.

Are you getting the picture here?

I DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE. I had orders to fill. DAMMIT.

But wow. There is no explaining how transported I was.  Perhaps it was the long holiday show season. I was a bit spent I think. I know. I haven't had enough sleep in weeks and weeks. Dangerous behavior, I know. I needed to have an infusion of art and soul and life and love and this was it. Session Americana - I love you.

I was forced to STOP doing my thing. MY thing. The thing that I love more than anything else. To the point that Tom feels bad. That is not a good thing about MY thing. He tolerates my thing (and even supports my thing.) But he made me stop. I'm so not good with anyone telling me to not do MY thing. But full stop it was.

And wow. Thank God he mad me stop. As tired as I am (and I am silly with exhaustion) I am filled with joy. I spent the entire day listening to Session Americana's album 'Diving for Gold' (buy it for just $6.99 on their website!)

I have to go answer 800 emails that I haven't had time to deal with. My fabulous Etsy Metal Clay team mates have been talking among themselves and I have been FILLING ORDERS and not doing anything else.

Long story short - I was so wrapped up in my art thing that I wasn't receiving any art. I wasn't getting an infusion of creativity or soul or awesomeness. This was my saving grace. This band saved 2009 for me. It may have saved me period.

Go find something to make you happy. See if you don't feel better.

Oh, and get a nap - that will help too.

xoxo
Lori

3 comments:

DeAnne said...

I think this is quite possibly the best post I have ever read. By anyone. Passion, mania, creativity, responsibility, guilt, love and a sweet sweet surrender. Now that you are full of art, have been infused & renewed, go fill those orders DAMMIT

Wendy said...

I loved your story of the transformational power of music. Getting out to see it is almost always a hassle on some level. For you at that moment it seemed like the most insane thing to be doing. But, it feeds our souls and re-fills the creative energy tank. Beautifully written post. Thanks for sharing.

Moda di Magno said...

Wendy, DeAnne - I'm so going to focus on getting more sleep and more art in 2010. As soon as I fill those last orders...

DeAnne, thank you for the nicest comment ever!